Do you!!!

"I need a break from the kids, I just want some me time". Can anyone else relate to this? I am almost

I took some time for myself, and I enjoyed
every moment. Tamar and I at her concert.
Meet and greet baby!!!

sure that every mom goes through this. I see a lot of people asking me questions about not losing themselves. Well I believe that the one way is to definitely have some mommy me time.

Some moms are scared to take a few hours to themselves. I am not saying that you need to leave the country and go away for a week. Just a couple of hours away will do you some good. I know that I like to take a trip to the nail shop and then to Barnes and noble. That is me though. There are so many things that you can do in a short amount of time that will take you away from all the madness going on at home. Yes I did just say madness.

When your house looks like a tornado went through it, and the kids are screaming at each other and fighting. When your husband seems like he has a stick up his ass. It is time to do something for you. You deserve it. You are the glue that holds the family together so why shouldn't you go out and take your mind away for a second?

Since moving away from my friends and family I have only done a few things for me. My most favorite thing was going to Tamar Braxton's concert. Yes, I went by myself and had the time of my life. I notice that having kids has given me the courage to step out on my own. Something that I would have never done back home if I didn't have kids.

I am starting to find "Myself". This is something a lot of moms struggle with. Your whole identity is not "mom". Don't ever forget that. That is only apart of who you are, not a whole. Once you can look in the mirror and recognize this then you will finally be able to set a side a day and time for just you.

For me it is hard because I stay at home with the kids and Shawn is always working to provide for our family, but if he is home for the day mommy is stepping out to do her. I don't do clubs because I don't like to be around a bunch of ignorant people that can only seems to express themselves because they have been drinking. Now I am not judging those of you that like the club, but this momma say "No Thank You".

If you don't feel good about yourself and know who you are, how can you teach your children to find who they are? It is impossible. We give so much of ourselves that we end up losing "us". It is time to take some of "you" and treat it with love and care. I say "date yourself".  Get all done up and do you. Stop worrying about what others will think and say. Who cares?

As a mom we are superheroes in our own right. Even superheroes need a break. Remember if mom isn't happy, then no one is happy. Enjoy the women that you are. Hit up the nail shop, spa or take yourself to a movie. Although, why hide all that sexy in the dark, okay!!!

I love you all for reading. I hope this helped someone.

How to keep the balance.

I asked for people to name topics that they wanted me to blog about for them to read. Long and behold most actually had the same concerns. Some expressed them on my "daily mom confessions" page and some in boxed me. Either way I automatically knew this is something I want to blog about.

We all handle things differently because we are not built the same. Physically, mentally and emotionally we all run on different levels. What may make me feel unequipped and get me sad and depressed might not even phase you. 

They only way I was able to keep a balance is because I battled with what one would call PPD "postpartum depression". I had a very bad case of it. Now I wasn't affected by this after Sariah, but with Kamille. It knocked me straight on my ass. Everything in me was fighting it, but nothing worked. I didn't know what to do. I ended up in the hospital so many times because I literally thought " I am dying, today is the day. I feel it". PPD is that bad. It causes you to have panic attacks and very bad anxiety. It isn't a joke at all.

Finally I took myself to Mental Health (yes I left by pride at home). They sent me to a psychologist because they said "you don't belong here, your not crazy". Well I sure felt crazy as hell. I started seeing a psychologist but noticed this is not going to work either. He was weird as ever wanting to talk about when I was a baby. Like I remembered that. LOL.

I was so lost and had no one that I could talk to about it. I've learned that a lot of people are afraid to be themselves and be open. I am not. You ask me something and I usually am an open book. What I went through I believe is to help someone else.

I went to my primary care physician and expressed my concerns about what was going on. She recommended Medication. At this point I was willing to try anything to get better. I had two kids depending on me. The first medication she started me on made things worse. I felt like the walls were caving in on me. Yes it is that bad.

Finally we found a medication that actually worked for me. The only problem was now I was sleepy all the time and hating life. I had to figure out what I could do. I decided that I needed to find an outlet to help me.

I knew that I didn't want to be on the medication anymore. I stayed away from excess amounts of coffee, made sure to keep the house bright. Get out of the house and do stuff with the girls. I learned what worked for me. I stopped taking the medication. Now I use to keep it on me just in case, but thank God I never needed it again.


If I felt like I was about to have an attack, I would suck on a hard piece of candy, and it worked.

This is how I learned how to keep the balance.

I was always to fixated on what the girls needed that I forgot about myself. You cant do that it will only make your life miserable. Just because you become a mother doesn't mean that you die. If anything it just starts a new chapter in your book. I mean that's what we are doing here, writing our book. Our stories aren't the same ever because then the book would be boring and not unique.

When the girls take a nap, I get some "Me time in". I watch my shows, surf the web, catch up on YouTube. Things that make me happy. That make me "ME".  I noticed that when I would work I never bought myself anything. I literally got paid and took the girls out shopping. This is a good thing to a certain extent. You have to treat yourself to something. Now don't get me wrong please provide for you children, but if they don't need anything and you do, make sure to choose you this time.

It is hard, I know. I love my kids with all that is in me, but mommy has needs too. Once you stop doing for you, you've already messed with the balance. It can and will have a negative affect on you. My girls know mommy needs space and they try to help I can tell., but remember they are kids don't expect too much. This is were the saying "it takes a village to raise kids" comes in.

Never be afraid to ask for help. If you have great friends and you are loosing it, ask. If you aren't a single parent tell your husband or boyfriend what's going on. Don't bottle it up and keep it in. It isn't healthy at all. No one is going to judge you, and if they do, they aren't any good for you.

Another great way to stay balanced is find other moms with kids around your kids ages. Schedule weekly play dates and let the kids be. While they are playing you and the kids mom can have some adult time. Trust me talking to kids all day, this will do you some good. I love hanging with other moms because they get you and understand certain frustrations.

Find your outlet. It can be writing (which is my favorite), singing, dancing, reading. Anything that allows you to just openly breath and get back to "YOU". You aren't dead, you are very much alive. Becoming a mother is the best thing in this world and also the hardest., but it isn't rocket science.

In staying balanced we are all going to have our own ways. Remember are make ups are different. No two people are the same. Not even twins. I promise you it only gets easier as time progresses and you learn more about yourself and kids.

I hope this helped someone, anyone. I am always here to help talk if need be. Who am I to judge?

My day!

Today was a great day. Do you remember my frustrations with trying to get scheduled to take my placement tests out here? Well I called and was able to find out that I had to sit and wait for them to release more dates and times. At midnight, but I did it and got my appointments. Thank God. It is two weeks out but hey it is a date.

This morning I woke up and made the best breakfast burritos ever in life. Seriously they were that good. Nom, nom, nom... LOL. Today my little man turned 4 months so that was a big deal for me. All that we have been through with him, it is a blessing to watch him get older.

Dinner was amazing, easy and yummy. It brought back so many childhood memories. I loved it and so did the girls. Riri wanted 2 of them. What a big girl.

Sariah had been bugging me to buy her these little Legos from target so I figured she deserves it. She has been being so good. I am proud of her. I mean they are only $3.99. That isn't exactly breaking the bank. So we went and they each choose something. Logan got a new book.

Logan has been pretty fussy lately because he is starting to teeth already. My poor baby. We got everyone ready for bed and it was time to read some books. The most important thing that you can do with your children, is keep a routine. It really helps the kids. After 3 books everyone was ready for bed.

Now it is "mommy me time". I am watching my pretty little liars and enjoying the silence in the house. Then shower and hitting the sheets. Its been a long day. My body is drained, thank God Shawn is off tomorrow I can sleep in. Yeah right... Nighty night everyone reading. If anyone is reading.

A MORNING RANT!!!

This is how I felt when I read her blog.

So as I am surfing the web and looking for interesting articles to read, and I come across a particular one that caught my eye. Why this mommy hates mommy blogs. Sounds interesting right? I am sitting here thinking there is no way this lady is going to down talk other moms or judge others for their opinions as a mother. Boy was I sadly mistaking. Literally as soon as I began to read "It has to be said -- mommy blogs and mommy-knows-best social media posts are the biggest enemies mommies like myself face" I was a bit taken aback by her start. Yes her title can draw you in, but her start makes you want to leave. How can you say mommy blogs are a moms enemy? I just don't understand.

If you take everything a person writes (might I add it is their blog for their thoughts) and take it personally then you are your own worst enemy. Please don't blame anyone else for you lack of self confidence as a mother. It wont do you any good or the others around you. Mommy blogs are to empower and help others out. It is a place that allows you to let loose, and feel good about oneself.

So what if you couldn't breastfeed, your not a horrible mother. Just because a person posts that they believe if you didn't breastfeed your baby then you are committing a crime against humanity. That is from their perspective. If you feel guilty that's on you. At least you attempted to try. We cant all be mommy milk machines, and that is okay. But, to sit and bash mothers that want to do a little something for themselves beside just that of a stay at home mom is ridiculous.

I know the reason that I wanted to do a mommy blog was so I could connect with other mothers. I stay at home with three beautiful children all day and sometimes want a little something for just me. That's okay. I give my all to them in hopes that I am raising them right and that one day they will become the strong independent adults God wants them to be. God forbid they grow up, finish college and want to become a parent and blogger. A person with your opinion might tare them down. Its not right nor is acceptable.

I know this is a bit of a rant, that's why I titled it what I did. I cant for the life of me understand how you can say  "No, we are not haters" but, your whole blog is judging the women that are doing something they see fit to do in order to reach someone going through what they already have. Mommy bloggers don't think that we are better than the next mom. That is not are goal when we started up our blogs. I speak for most mom, are intensions are to give back what we have learned and connect with other strong women.

Moms have the hardest jobs ever, it is 24/7 and are children aren't born with handbooks attached on how to raise them. We do it based on pure instinct. As a mom I am going on the record to say " Stop mommy bashing each other" for that matter " Stop women bashing". Is it not enough for men to degrade us because of how many children we have, or leave women to be single mothers. Now we want to hurt each other. with the words that we say and or write. It is time that we stick together and show the world how strong God has made us. We may have the hardest job, but is the most rewarding.

Signed in as a pissed off mom at the start of this blog
Signing off as a cool cucumber!!!

Mommy Me Time

This is me in 2010, you cant see the computer
but it was there in front of me I was about to blog on
the Queendom. ( Della LaShuan)

I sit here at my computer and cant help but feel pure joy. I haven't blogged since 2010 and have been wanting to start it up again forever but was to afraid of failing. Can I be honest for a moment without judgment? We all are afraid of something or another, and mine just happens to be people. I said lets me honest. I know that most of you that are reading this and know me, know that I don't usually care what people have to say or think, but the reality of it all is I am human. I do have feelings and I don't want people to disregard how I think and or feel.

I understand that people are just that, people. Sometimes we forget to turn our brains on and shut our damn mouths. Trust me I get it. I have always had that problem, but as I am getting older and maturing more I can understand how the words we say can cut like a knife. Once they come out there is no taking them back. In the last past year in a half, my family and friends have lost many we loved. We cant get them back but only remember the legacy that they have left. I want to be able to do the same.

If there is one thing that I want to do and can do, its touch someone, or help someone. I know that when I was going through it in my life the one thing that gave me hope honestly was encouragement through words I read. I am here to do what I have been so eager to do for the last past 4 years. Its mommy me time. This is one thing that I can do while taking care of my kids and house as a stay at home mom.

Granted I think I lost one of my kids and the house looks like a tornado went through, left and came back again. LOL. Just kidding. Seriously though what's stopping me from doing what I want? Only myself, because at the end of the day I hold the key to my future and everything that I aspire to do.

My question for you today is: What's stopping you from doing the thing/things you want to do?
My message: You have the first and the last say in what you do with your life. You can sit around wishing or you can take charge and start now. I know what I want and what I am going to do. So again here goes nothing or here goes everything. Its mommy me time.