Stands for something...

Waking up in the morning is something that we all pray for as we lay our heads down to bed at night. Never expecting anything more than that. We know that tomorrow is never promised, all we have is the "right now", but we still never expect that moment. As I look at my sons face all I can do is thank God for him. We had such a tragic few months before finding out that we were pregnant with this little blessing. We lost two amazing people in our family. One on my side and one on my husbands side.

My message to Richard: Although growing up I thought you were an ass because you seemed to always be angry at the world, you yelled at me, punished me with a toothbrush to wash walls (because I stole money from you and tried to hide it) you meant well. Now that I am a mother I can understand why you did the things that you did. You were only trying to help prepare us for the day we became parents. I am so grateful for that. We had not been air tight, but you were still someone I loved, admired and cared deeply for. I looked up to you. The meaning of what a true man is, a husband, father, son, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin. The list can go on. You were amazing. I am so glad that Sabreena helped me and my mom be able to go to the river, what would be our last summer with you. It is a moment that I will always cherish as will my girls. They loved you and even though I never said it to you, " I loved you too". You stood for what you believed in. You went back to school later in life to fulfill your dreams. You excelled. The day you graduated was a day to always
remember, thank you for having me. No matter what obstacles got in your way, you figured out how to make it to the finish line. With honors at that. You stood for something...

We moved into our new place a few months later and learned that Shawn's granny had passed away. We knew that she had entered the hospital a few weeks earlier and wasn't doing to well. We got to visit her and Shawn got to spend time with her, not believing that it would be his last time. A week later after the funeral we were at home. I could feel that something was different, I wasn't 100% sure, but I knew. I went to Wal-Mart, came home went to the bathroom took a few deep breaths, and waited.... I didn't have to wait long, before I saw... PREGNANT. The test said 5 min before any results, I didn't even wait 30 sec. My head was spinning. I already had a 4 and 3 years old. There was no way.

I was scared as hell to tell my hubby at first because I didn't know how he was going to react. I couldn't keep it from him, so here goes nothing I thought. I went out to the garage and showed him... I don't know if he was happy, sad or mad... It might have been shock. Another baby. After all that our families had just gone through this was a gift from God. There is a saying that when someone gets their wings, God will give back another. I believed that to be true. My original due date happened to be March 30, 2014. Richards birthday.

The months went by and it was time to get ready for my sons birth. I was being induced on March 22, 2014. As I kissed my girls bye and told them "Mommy loves you, and grandma will be back later to bring you to the hospital to see your baby brother", I was nervous, anxious, and excited all in one. I was hungry too, but that's another story. I couldn't help but wonder about the name we had chose. Up until the moment he was born I still hadn't decided if I was going to choose that name we picked from the beginning. I knew his first name and last name, but the middle meant so much to me. I had felt hurt, betrayed and a disconnect with people I loved because of what they thought was my sons name. It had to stand for something...

5:36 pm on March 22,2014 my son entered into this world, a cruel and evil world., but in my arms he was in the safest of places. As I looked at him nothing even mattered. I was blessed and I wanted this moment for just my husband, my mom and myself. I didn't want to share it with anyone other than them because they always support me, and don't judge my actions or choices (not out loud anyways). As my mom left to pick up my girls and my kids God mom, Shawn went to get my food ( I was starving). I spent an hour with him at my breast and was amazed. "I had a son". When I stared at him I  knew no matter what anyone had to say his name would be Logan Richard-Hart Thomas.

A name that stood for something.
Logan: Generally a man of great character, possessed of a fabulous sexual magnetism. Courageous, your quintessential knight-in-shining armor type.
Richard:Tall, almost towering, large features, arms, legs. Beautiful heart. Kind. Although he is able to communicate well, he feels much more deeply than he speaks. Only those that are close to him will ever really know him.  A strong, powerful force, a positive energy, other men are always questioning, "what's so great about Richard?". Spiritual leader.
Hart: the rope, strong
Thomas: its by name means "twin"

I chose this name because to me it meant strong, powerful and roped all the heartache our families went through together. Some may still question why? Its not for them to understand, and am sorry if anyone was hurt or is hurt by my choice to name my son what I did. I love his name and stand firmly behind my choice. Welcome to the world my beautiful boy. May you always follow you heart and
reach for the stars. We love you and are truly blessed to have been given another blessing. My girls

and my son... We are complete. " If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything". (side note) A quote that can be heavily disputed as too who first said it. So I wont write any names... You can do your own research. LOL!