A Journey, A Lifestyle

Have you ever wanted something so bad and cant seem to figure out why you are not getting the results you want? When you really sit and think about it you are only dedicated to working maybe 33% of you time for that goal? I think we have all been there. Its always something... "Im too busy, I have too many kids, I am tired.". You know its true!!!

The reason I ask today is because I am not were I want to be nor have I ever been happy about were I am. I feel like I try and try but yet I am still stuck... I know that I have been gone for a while on blogging and I definitely needed to be. I have had a few things that have been happening in my life and now that I understand what to do I am ready but, that is for another blog....

I want to help you get to a place of new beginnings. First things first you need to have a mindset for change... That is the key to being successful in your journey. That is what this is "A JOURNEY, A LIFESTYLE."

Right before you begin this journey I strongly suggest that you go to your primary doctor and make sure that your health is okay. Now remember what works for one might not work for you (I have learned this). Now you can start easing your way into this journey before your doctors appointment, but remember to start out slow.

Some people like to go cold turkey and then they wonder why they end up falling off around week 2 or 3. Slow and steady is the best way to begin.  Now here are the steps.

1. Meditation (This is all about your mindset)
2. Changing bad habits (Drinking everyday, smoking, etc.)
3. Clean eating (fruit instead of candy)
4. Working out (Fuels energy)
5. Dedication/ Perseverance (Sticking with it and pushing forward)
6. Food journal (What am I eating?) 
7. Accountability group (People that are in your corner)

It is a start that everyone needs to take, lets do this together. Who is with me? If your ready to change your life today let me know. I am here to help you in this journey. I am still in mine and would love some great company.

My day

Today was a pretty laid back day for the most part. Not really much to do. I took the girls out to the pool for a while. It was fun. We had the whole thing to ourselves. I wasn't mad at that. Little man didn't get in, he just watched from the side lines with his daddy. Sariah and Kamille are doing so well in the pool. They took off their life vests to show me that they are able to swim without them. My girls are growing up so fast. I feel like just yesterday they were being born. These are the moments that you have to hold onto, because before you know it they are going to be off to college and out of your house.

After spending time in the pool, we got cleaned up and headed out to do some grocery shopping. We spent about an hour or so getting food for the week and standing in line for what always seems like a life time at food 4 less. I am not sure why they cant hire people that know what they are doing. It so frustrates me. Now for the fun part putting everything away. I have to be honest downsizing so that we can save money to buy our house can make a girl go crazy.

Anyways, after doing so I noticed that I didn't have anymore trash bags. Well wait I did have one and I was holding onto it with my life. Okay just kidding. Seriously though. I really didn't want to leave, but my big girl Sariah said that she would go with me. So out again we went. Heading to our favorite store "Target". Well one of them anyways. On the way Sariah wanted to listen to music. Can anyone guess what we put in and turned all the way up?????

If you guessed Tamar then ding, ding, ding you won a trip to "getcha life"... and honey boo me and Riri got ours. I am almost sure everyone next to us and or driving past thought we were crazy. We didn't care because we were enjoying ourselves and having fun. This is what I live for. Seeing my kids happy and all from the little things in life.

I came home to find that my little man was already for bed, so it was mommy time. I put him to sleep pretty much every night. One thing that I just started doing, is reading him his own books at night because I notice that he actually enjoys it. Trust me I get he is only 4 months (in 6 more mins. as I am writing this) but you should see his eyes glow and get big, his feet start to move and he laughs. I am so in love. After reading him 3 books off my favorites list, I held him close and told him "Mommy loves you". I looked down to see that he had already fell fast asleep. In my arms he was safe and warm.

I got the girls ready for bed, then we cleaned their room. Now book time for them. Tonight it was a "Junie B" Book, which they love. Something about chapter books make them feel like big girls. So cute. Now it is time for me and my honeys guilty pleasure "love and hip hop". Nighty night. Until tomorrow.

Frustrations

So now that I am settled here in Vegas, I am ready to get back in the swing of things and go back to school. The only problem that I am now having is that the colleges out here are over populated. Seriously? This has to be one of the hardest places to go to school. They have more than one campus but the one that I need has no testing openings. I am so mad right now. What can I do though?

I feel like every time I try to take a step forward for myself, I get pushed back 20 steps behind. Now this may not seem like a big deal to some, but furthering my education is very important to me. Yes I could always go to another trade school and do something else I love., but why put my "REAL" dream on hold?

Is anyone out there listening to me? Do you understand where I am coming from, or am I all alone in this? Going back to school has always been my dream, I just had to defer it for a while because I needed to put my babies first. Yes I know little man is only going to be 4 months and he is still small, but I need to get things in order so that when he turns 6 months mommy can get her life....

Its been along time coming and I am ready to go back and get my career started. I could sit here and cry because I cant get an appointment, or I can put on my big girl panties and keep fighting for my dream. When one door closes isn't another suppose to open up? I am waiting and praying for this.

I believe that it is my time to finally fulfill "ME"!!! I have the support of my husband, and the motivation from my kids. College here I come, again.

I wont let this bump in the road stop me. I will continue to be persistent even if it means trying to get a walk in and being told "its to full". I got this. College is a weapon we need to succeed in life. It is the true key to success and I can feel it at the tip of my fingers. Lets do this.

A message to my kids

Life would not be even 1/10 as fulfilling as it is with you three in my life. I am so blessed that God allowed me to be your mom. When I look at you all I cant help but be thankful that he decided I was qualified enough to have you. Being your mother is the best thing in this world. When I found out that I was having each one of you I prayed that you would be healthy and your deliverer's would be safe. You all are amazing. I would go through labor all over again just to have you beautiful babies.

Sariah: My first born, my first girl, my princess. You are so smart and beautiful. Everything that you do amazes me. Whatever in life you want its yours. Never allow anyone to tell you any different.

My little princess when she was
a new born.
Sariah.

Mommy believes in you, you just have to believe in yourself. You said that you want become a veterinarian when you get older. Remember that only you can stop that from happening. I look at you and I see me. Loud, loving and most of all a great character of person. You have been such a big help since having Logan. If I need something (diaper, pacifier, diaper wipes) you are always there to assist me. I am so blessed to call you my daughter. It is almost time for first grade and I just know that you are going to do amazing. I can already see your teacher telling me how great of a student you are and how lucky he/she is to have you in their class. I love you so much and I will always be here for you no matter what. Things may get in your way from time to time, but know that giving up is to easy and it should not be an option for you. You can do anything and you will always be able to overcome whatever obstacle may come your way. You are such a beautiful young lady inside and out. Never think different. I love you to the moon and back!!!

Kamille: My second born, my precious girl, my princess. If I had to describe you in just one word it would be, talented. I hope you continue to always be you. You are the type of person that needs no one. Singing is your favorite thing to do. No matter where we are, who we are with you will sing. I love it. I will be in my room and all of a sudden ill hear " let it go, let it go, cant hold it back

My second little princess
as a new born.
Kamille.

anymore", I know Kamille is awake... LOL. You are so beautiful inside and out. As soon as you hear little man cry, you come running out of your room to check on him. You always say " what's the matter papa, huh? You want sister, don't you"? Too cute. When I was pregnant with Logan you asked "mommy, how are you going to have the baby"? My answer "my doctor will deliver him". You responded with "when I grow up that's what I am going to do". I thought you meant become a mom, which there is absolutely nothing wrong with. I told you " being a mom is great". You said "yep, Sariah I am going to deliver babies". That's when I knew what you meant. Not a mom but a doctor. Honey if you wanted to walk on the moon you could. You put your mind to something and you will do it. I see you practicing your name. Even though you have a hard time you still try and you try again. One day it will be perfect, but right now okay is good enough. I love you to the moon and back!!!

My handsome prince
as a new born.
Logan.

Logan: My last miracle, my only boy, my prince. I look at you and know that I am now 100% complete. You complete our little family circle. We are all in love with you, I am not sure who you want to be just yet or who you will one day become. What I am sure of is that you will succeed in every way possible. I know this because when you were born and were so sick, you never gave up.
You are a fighter and I am so glad to call you my son. As I sit and watch your sleep, you chest rise and fall I thank the Lord for your health. You have gone through so much already in your short little life, but it has helped mommy tremendously with faith. I am thankful for you because you have allowed mommy to become a stronger women in all aspects of life. Your smile brightens my days, your laugh warms my heart. I am so in love with you my precious boy. I cant wait to watch you start to crawl, take your first steps or hear you say your first words.  Thank you for coming into our lives after such heartache. I love you to the moon and back!!!

You all fit the messing pieces to my puzzle, and I couldn't have asked for better children. I love you all so much and cant wait to see the amazing women, and man you will become. I am forever grateful Lord for these beautiful blessing. My kids, my kids.

Love,
Mommy

Stands for something...

Waking up in the morning is something that we all pray for as we lay our heads down to bed at night. Never expecting anything more than that. We know that tomorrow is never promised, all we have is the "right now", but we still never expect that moment. As I look at my sons face all I can do is thank God for him. We had such a tragic few months before finding out that we were pregnant with this little blessing. We lost two amazing people in our family. One on my side and one on my husbands side.

My message to Richard: Although growing up I thought you were an ass because you seemed to always be angry at the world, you yelled at me, punished me with a toothbrush to wash walls (because I stole money from you and tried to hide it) you meant well. Now that I am a mother I can understand why you did the things that you did. You were only trying to help prepare us for the day we became parents. I am so grateful for that. We had not been air tight, but you were still someone I loved, admired and cared deeply for. I looked up to you. The meaning of what a true man is, a husband, father, son, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin. The list can go on. You were amazing. I am so glad that Sabreena helped me and my mom be able to go to the river, what would be our last summer with you. It is a moment that I will always cherish as will my girls. They loved you and even though I never said it to you, " I loved you too". You stood for what you believed in. You went back to school later in life to fulfill your dreams. You excelled. The day you graduated was a day to always
remember, thank you for having me. No matter what obstacles got in your way, you figured out how to make it to the finish line. With honors at that. You stood for something...

We moved into our new place a few months later and learned that Shawn's granny had passed away. We knew that she had entered the hospital a few weeks earlier and wasn't doing to well. We got to visit her and Shawn got to spend time with her, not believing that it would be his last time. A week later after the funeral we were at home. I could feel that something was different, I wasn't 100% sure, but I knew. I went to Wal-Mart, came home went to the bathroom took a few deep breaths, and waited.... I didn't have to wait long, before I saw... PREGNANT. The test said 5 min before any results, I didn't even wait 30 sec. My head was spinning. I already had a 4 and 3 years old. There was no way.

I was scared as hell to tell my hubby at first because I didn't know how he was going to react. I couldn't keep it from him, so here goes nothing I thought. I went out to the garage and showed him... I don't know if he was happy, sad or mad... It might have been shock. Another baby. After all that our families had just gone through this was a gift from God. There is a saying that when someone gets their wings, God will give back another. I believed that to be true. My original due date happened to be March 30, 2014. Richards birthday.

The months went by and it was time to get ready for my sons birth. I was being induced on March 22, 2014. As I kissed my girls bye and told them "Mommy loves you, and grandma will be back later to bring you to the hospital to see your baby brother", I was nervous, anxious, and excited all in one. I was hungry too, but that's another story. I couldn't help but wonder about the name we had chose. Up until the moment he was born I still hadn't decided if I was going to choose that name we picked from the beginning. I knew his first name and last name, but the middle meant so much to me. I had felt hurt, betrayed and a disconnect with people I loved because of what they thought was my sons name. It had to stand for something...

5:36 pm on March 22,2014 my son entered into this world, a cruel and evil world., but in my arms he was in the safest of places. As I looked at him nothing even mattered. I was blessed and I wanted this moment for just my husband, my mom and myself. I didn't want to share it with anyone other than them because they always support me, and don't judge my actions or choices (not out loud anyways). As my mom left to pick up my girls and my kids God mom, Shawn went to get my food ( I was starving). I spent an hour with him at my breast and was amazed. "I had a son". When I stared at him I  knew no matter what anyone had to say his name would be Logan Richard-Hart Thomas.

A name that stood for something.
Logan: Generally a man of great character, possessed of a fabulous sexual magnetism. Courageous, your quintessential knight-in-shining armor type.
Richard:Tall, almost towering, large features, arms, legs. Beautiful heart. Kind. Although he is able to communicate well, he feels much more deeply than he speaks. Only those that are close to him will ever really know him.  A strong, powerful force, a positive energy, other men are always questioning, "what's so great about Richard?". Spiritual leader.
Hart: the rope, strong
Thomas: its by name means "twin"

I chose this name because to me it meant strong, powerful and roped all the heartache our families went through together. Some may still question why? Its not for them to understand, and am sorry if anyone was hurt or is hurt by my choice to name my son what I did. I love his name and stand firmly behind my choice. Welcome to the world my beautiful boy. May you always follow you heart and
reach for the stars. We love you and are truly blessed to have been given another blessing. My girls

and my son... We are complete. " If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything". (side note) A quote that can be heavily disputed as too who first said it. So I wont write any names... You can do your own research. LOL!

Original Baby Carrier: Ergobaby Best Seller Review

Original Baby Carrier

Colors: Black / Camel, Black Exterior with Camel Lining/Hood

Price varies from $115- $195 Depending on the style.

When looking for a baby carrier you aren't only looking for a cute style, you are looking for safety, and comfort for you and the baby. This being my third child I knew what I wanted. I had tried the baby Bjorn (hated it). I tried a baby sling (loved it). The problem with the Bjorn was my baby looked uncomfortable and I felt uncomfortable.  The baby sling had a lot of recalls due to deaths in babies (scary as ever).

Baby insert for your Ergo carrier

Don't let the prices scare you away. Think of it as a investment. Baby wearing is something that people have been doing forever, but it seems as though the last 5 years it has started to become more of a trend. I myself am totally in love.

Now when your baby is first born you are going to want to purchase the infant insert. Don't worry it isn't expensive at all. Only $25 for it if you want just regular, $38 if you must have organic. It is well worth it if you want to baby wear right away. Which I did. With the infant insert there are two stages for weight and age. 0-2 months (7lbs) the babies feet are in like a cocoon. Once they are around 3-4 months their feet are out but, their bottoms are sitting in on the little pillow. (This is all depending on how big your baby is). I stopped using the insert with Logan at 2 months because he was getting too big.

Some will continue using the pillow that is in the insert for what they would call a transition from the insert to just the Ergo alone. I didn't because I felt the Ergo itself was very safe and comfortable for him. To each is own. You make the decision off of you and your babies comfort. I am in absolute heaven with this product, and only wish that I had this when I first became a mom.

I look for any excuse to take Logan out of his car seat so that I can wear my ergo. No lie, it is that comfortable and I feel much safer with him right on my chest. It is easy to put on and adjust to your comfort level. A big plus is that your hubby can wear the baby too. It extends around the waist and the shoulders. So it is a win win all around. You can wear your baby in the Ergo up about 45 lbs. They can be on the front, back or even on your hip.

There are some great videos on YouTube demonstrating how to use the Ergo. Check it out if you are looking for a great carrier. You wont be disappointed. Remember Safety is key as well as comfort. I also think that the Ergo look much better than any other baby carrier. Hope this helps...

Logan in the Ergo about to get his first shots.

 

 

 

 

Graduation, A loss and a new beginning.

 "Yeah, we did it". Here comes the class of 2007 is all that I could think as I was sitting in the chair getting ready. As I walked across the stage to get my diploma (the fake one they give you) I held back the tears from my fellow companions. My heart was beating at a million miles an hour. I honestly was nervous to be in front of everyone. Go figure I went to a performing arts school for acting. Something about that day in particular was just so special to me. It was exciting.

 

A week later after graduation I noticed some changes in me. I was very fatigued and had very bad cramps, none like I have ever had before. Now, I was only 18 at the time so as you can probably imagine I was scared to take a pregnancy test. My body was letting me know that I was before I even peed on the stick. 6 test later I believed it. I WAS PREGNANT!!! 

 

I was overly excited I just couldn't keep it in, I had to tell everyone. I was about to become a mother. Or so I thought. I had just graduated from high school, and now I was pregnant. I can remember the day very vividly. I went to the park and had to go to the restroom so bad, but the park didn't have a restroom. We left and went to the nearest store. Oh, how I was relieved that I had made it, to only find that I was bleeding. My heart felt like it had been ripped out of my chest.  We hurried to the nearest hospital only to be told you have to wait in the waiting room, if you are losing the baby there is nothing that we can do for you.

 

I was so heartbroken. How can they have no heart? It didn't get any better. After spending all evening and late night in the hospital and countless ultrasounds they told me everything would be alright they saw the sack of the baby. If I saw more blood to come back. The night had past and the morning had come. I still was bleeding.  Back to the hospital I went. Only to be told the same thing again. I had to wait.

 

I prayed and prayed that everything was going to be alright with my baby that I had just found out I was going to be a mother too. A few hours later the doctor came in to let me know that the baby sack had diminished and was no longer there. My world had stopped. How was this going to affect me and my love? What would I tell everyone that I told? I was so confused as to why this happened to me.

 

I went on trying to keep it together for the sake of those around me. Dying inside everyday. The holidays had came and went and I was dreading the month of  February because that was the month my baby would have been due. It was the end of December and I had just came back from San Francisco. A well needed vacation with my cousin and his best friend. During vacation my cousin was joking about me being pregnant because I was tired and was late.

 

As soon as I got home I went straight to the store and grabbed a handful of pregnancy tests. I came home scared but also excited to take them. I took 1 and waited 5 minutes and sure enough there was two line. I took another and the same thing. After 5 tests I believed it... LOL. I was going to be a mother. This time I waited till 13 weeks before I told anyone.

 

The months flew by and before I knew it was almost time to meet my baby girl... Even after such a sad previous year, my life was starting to feel somewhat more meaningful. Having another baby never replaced the love that I had for that baby that I lost. I didn't know it before but miscarriage is very common. 1 in 3 women will have one. Think about it your sister, your friend and yourself. One would lose a baby. Not to say it would happen to you, but an example.

 

It was one of the hardest moments in my life but GOD, and my family got me through. Not a day goes past that I don't think about who that baby might have been today or who he/she would be in the near future. That's something that you just don't forget. I will always have a special place in my heart for that baby. RIP my angel. 06/2007

 

September 08, 2008 would change my life forever. The arrival of my first baby, My daughter Sariah Lanay Thomas... A new beginning in my life. It was just the start of motherhood. God would soon bless me with two more there after... December 03, 2009 Kamille Mallory Thomas and just recently March 22, 2014 Logan Richard-Hart Thomas... My family is complete.