Thoughts in our head!!!

Why cant I do everything like her? She really seems to have it together. Dang, she even has more kids than me. What is going on with me. Am I even fit to be their mom?

I saw this after writing my blog, and
said yes this is totally for my blog.

Sometimes as a mom these thoughts can enter your mind, even if you wont admit. Which lets face it most of you wont. You cant even admit when your frustrated for the fear of someone judging you. I say judge away if you want, it makes me no difference.

I am so far from being "the perfect mom", but I honestly don't want to be quote on quote perfect. I love being who I am. Human. I feel everything from pain, hurt to sadness as well as joy, happiness and love. Some turn those feelings off. I love being in touch with my emotions because it allows me to be a better mom to my kids.

When they are hurting, I hurt, and when they are happy, I am happy. Me and my children are in sync with one another. Which is very important to me. I can tell at the drop of a dime when something is not right with them. I don't even have to hear them cry or see their faces down and out.

Paying attention to their body language and they way they eat is a big part of knowing if something is wrong or not. Never for a second should you second guess the decisions in life you make. Most of the time your first instinct is usually right on point. Lets be honest, if you are second guessing yourself why wouldn't the world?

Just because someone seems like they "have it together", doesn't mean they are even close. People it is called great acting skills. God made us all different, no two people are the same. He didn't do that by mistake either.

We are designed to handle situations different and children different. That way we can intervene with help if something isn't working out for a friend or family. I love to get advice from seasoned folks. Now let me elaborate.

Please don't give me your unsolicited advice if I haven't asked. That can make the situation at hand way worse. If I do come to you please know it is because I really and truly would appreciate your help. Moms stick firm to this. Don't allow people to make you feel bad and less than. If you don't want the help let them know in a respectful manner.

A lot of times mother to mother, we over step our boundaries. You can lose family and friends for this. It isn't our place to judge someone, when half of the time we probably don't even have half of or shit together. Just being honest.

Don't doubt yourself. God saw fit for you to be the mom to your child/children. He is never wrong. So pull up your big girl panties and your mom cape, and rule the world. Okay well your household world. LOL. Hope you have an amazing day.

The best part of my day!!!

The best part of my day is night. Giving all my kids their baths and then choosing the stories that we are going to read for the night. Usually the girls choose a chapter book because they feel older. Anything pleases them at this age. Currently we are reading the Junie B books which are kind of amusing if you ask me.

After the girls have had their books or book read it is milk time and good night (hopefully). Going to sleep is not their favorite part of the day. That will change one day though. For now its like pulling teeth. We say our prayers together and then I hope that they will be quite enough for me to get little man to sleep.

Once I am finished with them, Logan gets his special bath then lotion time. One thing I can say is after a baby has had a bath if you spend time massaging them with a calming lotion, it makes going to bed a lot faster. Just a little tip. Anyways after getting him dressed me and him choose three kid (baby) books (yes I said, me and him). The little ones that are hard pages.

I love seeing his eyes open up so wide when we are reading. I mean this little boy become fixated with the story. So cute I tell you. We either finish bed time with "I love you, goodnight" (which I just picked up and am so in love with) or "Love you forever" (my all time favorite).

Then night light with moving pictures and music is on. I say a prayer with him and rock him back and fourth till he is out. It melts my heart watching my kids sleep. The best feeling in the world is knowing "they are mine, all mine".

It is a reward everyday to me watching them rest so peacefully. Being a mother is such a hard job. One that most get no credit for, nor do we ask for it. Just seeing them in their beds tucked in under the covers lets me know "Kayleigh, you are doing a great job". It is nice to hear those words from time to time, but as long as my kids are alive and healthy I feel accomplished.

I am a blessed women and if all else fails in my life, at least I have my children. They will always love me despite my flaws. I am grateful for them.

Make it fun!!!

Food is so important. Although a lot of kids just want junk all day, its your job to explain why they need good healthy food. I am not perfect with healthy food. I do let my girls indulged in chips and cookies. I wont deprive them of the things they really like. It is all about moderation people. So here are a few tips.

How I make my kids eat all their food (yes, even their veggies):

1. Don't give them too much (remember their belly is small)
2. Make there food look fun (finger foods, colorful veggies even skewers).
3. Let them know they cant have anything else (if they cant eat what's given, then they need nothing else for the night (Even if they get hungry).
4. No desert for the night (That means no ice cream, even if the other kids get ice cream stick to it, and be firm. Explain to them, and tell them "Oh, Well its your fault you should have ate).
5. Tell them how veggies make them strong and healthy (this is my kids favorite thing to hear).

A lot of kids don't understand the whole, there are people starving in other countries statement. I've tried and even showed them. It just isn't something that a 4 and 5 year old can really grasp. Making kid friendly food is a must. My girls love using their fingers. So carrots, broccoli and chicken is something we eat a lot. I make them different though. Never the same seasonings unless it is their fav, which would be BBQ chicken (wet or dry).

A great breakfast food that is simple is a burrito. They don't need anything but the burrito. That is a plus. Although their favorite thing for breakfast is pancakes, they cant have that everyday. It is fast, simple and pleases everyone. Well usually.

Lunch is simple. Sandwiches, noodles or chicken nuggets. They love the white chicken breast

dinosaurs. They could eat them all the time. I still make them sides too. Sariah's fav thing at the moment is salads. She actually told me today "mom I want to be a vegetarian". I have no idea where she got that from, lol. Kids.

Dinner is always different, but if you let them help you make it 9 times out of 10 they will eat it. Just for the simple fact that they made it. That is sometimes all a kid needs to help prepare the food. It also gives you some special time with them. Memories are important.

Just make sure that if its something you wont eat don't make it. A lot of times kids are like the parents. Now if you don't eat veggies, still make those because they are very good for the kiddos. Hope your kids start to eat more.

None of the pictures above are mine. I just wanted to show some idea.

Be their encourager!!!

Sariah on her first day of kindergarten.

Encouraging your kids is vital to how much they actually take in while learning at school. You should not leave all the teaching and rewarding up to the teacher. Yes we send our kids to school so that they get an education., but remember that is only the first steps.

When I would pick Sariah up from school everyday I always made sure to ask three questions.

1. How was school today?
2. What did you learn?
3. Did you get homework?

On our drive home she would tell me about her day and what she learned. This probably had to be the best part of the day as a parent. I loved hearing her talk. Listen parents this is key, because had I not asked Sariah how her day was I would have never known that a little boy beat her up. If the child isn't acting normal and seems timid or has their head down, chances are something happened. If they aren't willing to talk about it, you need to turn around and speak with the teacher. This happened a few times. Riri wouldn't tell me what happened, so I would go to her teacher, and she would explain what happened and why Sariah was upset. Communication is a big factor no matter who old or young they are. Once you stop talking to them about things, don't be surprised if they keep things bottled up inside and lash out. I've seen this happen before.

You may be thinking "lash out, my kid is only in kindergarten" Yes, honey it happens. Our kids aren't like the kids we were when we went to school. This generation is much more smart. They see more,

Sariah loves school.

hear more, and do more. 

When asking the question "what did you learn"? Make sure you are asking for full details. Have them explain. For an example. If they say "today we learned about the earth" your question would be "Great, now what about the earth did you learn"? So on and so fourth. I don't think I need to elaborate any more, right? Great, hopefully you got it.

Learning is so important for them at whatever age they are. When they are babies we want them to  learn how to talk, walk, grab things. So when they get older why should it be any different?

Something that my girls loved to do was head out to the library on Wednesdays to check out books. Sariah usually would find books related to what she was learning about at school. She is so smart, and I am blessed to be her mom. We would come home and Riri would tell Kamille about what she had learned. Now Mimi was learning. Your kids can help teach the younger ones. It an added bonus.

This is the most important part of your child's day. Homework time!!! Parents don't slack on this part of the day. Yes, you had a long day at work, the baby is screaming, your husband is driving you crazy, you probably just burned the dinner. I get it, I have 3 kids its not always easy. Just remember if you don't have your kids do homework you are only setting them up for failure.

Sariah would come home every Friday with two new packets of homework, due the next week on Thursday. One would be writing, reading, home connections and the second math. Depending on how many pages of homework she had, would depend on how long we took. I usually had her do 3 a day. Even on the weekend. Our favorite part about homework time, was our one on one time together. I included Kamille in the reading portion because we did it before bed.

I learned a lot about Sariah when helping her out with homework. My daughter is very self conscious about herself and is afraid that people are going to judge her if she does something wrong. This is where parents have to intervene and lift your child's spirits up. Be their encourager!

She still battles with this, but it is something I am working with her on. I see so much potential in her, and I let her know that. If they are struggling in certain areas in school, talk to their teachers. They can give them extra work, and or recommend great "free" websites to use for pintable's.

My homemade packets for Sariah.

Kamille has homemade homework packets
as well.

My favorite place to go is Barnes and Noble. I love to buy there learning activity books. I have the member ship so I get 15% off. It is a must for how often I shop there. I buy them for both girls. They have age one or grade. It just depends on what you want.

Hopefully you have learned a few key tips, school is almost here again. Remember our kids are the next Doctors, Lawyers, Nurses, Engineers and much, much more.

Evolving!

I notice a lot of people seem to wonder why I don't act the same or hang with the people I grew up with. The answer is "I am not that girl from middle school and high school that you remember". I have grown and don't have time for the petty BS. I see a lot of the people I went to high school still stuck in the same rut. I am not about that life, sorry. Wait, no I am not sorry that I got out and did what I had to do for my family.

I have grown and plan on continuing to grow even more. I see so much for my future and am so excited with where God is taking me. Although I love reconnecting with people from my past, don't get mad if I don't accept your friend request or want to "hang". I am not better than anyone, but I also have a purpose in life and back sliding into my old life is not for me.

That Kayleigh is gone and not coming back. We learn as we get older what we want out of life, friends and family. Trust if family does something horrible enough I wont hang with them either. I just want better for me and my family. There is nothing wrong with that.

One thing I see a lot is people being afraid to let go of the things that may hold them back in life. I cant do that. Being afraid is not an option for me. I still can remember being pregnant and thinking "wow my life is changing". Literally right before my eyes I was loosing friends. At first it hurt, but then I figured "they aren't apart of this chapter in my life".

I see it now as a blessing. I don't want to hang out in the hood and smoke weed all day. Scared that my kids might end up with a bullet in them because of who I hang with. Trust it happens all the time. So if you ever wonder why is Kayleigh changing, I'm not. I changed along time ago, and am now evolving into the women I am suppose to be.

If we stay the same its like we die. Never becoming anything better than what we are now, it should be a sin. I personally don't want to be where I am today in 10 years. Not that where I am is bad, but I have much more potential to become something greater and better.

Becoming a mother has made me become stronger not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. There really isn't anything that you can say or do to me that would break me. My kids have given me some really thick skin. I am grateful, because I use to lash out at anyone for anything. Now I am learning how to control myself.

A year ago if you said something to me that pissed me off you wouldn't want to stick around. I would have chewed you up and spit you out like you were dirt in my mouth. I realized that this wasn't good. My girls witnessed me go off one time because someone said something to them and all hell broke loose. I felt bad after because my girls asked me "mommy were you going to fight them"? That is something that I never want my girls to witness. I had to do some soul searching and figuring out how I could control my anger.

I had to figure out were it came from and learn how to keep it in the dark. Now when I get pissed off at something I try to just leave it alone. Its not worth being ignorant for, yes fighting as an adult is ignorant (in my book). I am glad I learned now before my girls caught on and started acting like that.

I am changed and proud of the women I have become. I'm even more excited to see where and who I will be in the next couple of years. I see the vision, now its time to be productive in at.

A fun place.

Fun activities are a must with the kiddos. No matter where we live we always have fun... Guess what

Los Angeles isn't the only place to have fun with them either.

I don't think kids should be trapped in the house, so find fun things in your area. Some places are free in your local areas and some cost a little bit of money. If the kids really enjoy the places you can always apply the ticket to the season pass. It just has to be purchased that day.

My girls are very into science, animals and the earth. So we go a lot of museums. Which low key, I love too. Today we decided to try out the Nevada Spring Preserve. http://www.springspreserve.org/coming_soon/coming_soon.html

We totally had fun. They have indoor miniature golf, outside animals, fossils. You name it they probably had it. It did cost to get it, but not a lot. We paid $24.95 for all of us. It opens at 10am -6pm.
Which is great for the kids. On site is a dining area, gift shop and library. Winning.

It was very fun. Inside they do a live animal show. Two different hours in the day. So if you miss the first one you can go to the next. They ask for participation too, so that is a plus. Although my kids cried because they didn't get picked. LOL.

My favorite part (hey parents can have fun too) was the flash flood the do. Mimi was so scared, but not Riri or Logey Bear.

All in all it was fun I am glad that we went.

Now I know that for the most part you that most stay in the greater Los Angeles are, so here are a few fun places my girls loved.
In no particular order:

1. Los Angeles Zoo (it was cheaper to buy a pass for my whole family)
2. California Science center ( The Endeavor exhibit is a must see)
3. Brea tar pit (I loved going her when I was a kid)
4. Aquarium of the pacific (not my favorite thing)
5. Long beach library (my girls are simple)
6. Santa Ana Zoo (The park is amazing)

Now there is so much more to do and see, but these are just a few. Hope you enjoy taking your
kiddos out. Let the fun times begin.

How to keep the balance.

I asked for people to name topics that they wanted me to blog about for them to read. Long and behold most actually had the same concerns. Some expressed them on my "daily mom confessions" page and some in boxed me. Either way I automatically knew this is something I want to blog about.

We all handle things differently because we are not built the same. Physically, mentally and emotionally we all run on different levels. What may make me feel unequipped and get me sad and depressed might not even phase you. 

They only way I was able to keep a balance is because I battled with what one would call PPD "postpartum depression". I had a very bad case of it. Now I wasn't affected by this after Sariah, but with Kamille. It knocked me straight on my ass. Everything in me was fighting it, but nothing worked. I didn't know what to do. I ended up in the hospital so many times because I literally thought " I am dying, today is the day. I feel it". PPD is that bad. It causes you to have panic attacks and very bad anxiety. It isn't a joke at all.

Finally I took myself to Mental Health (yes I left by pride at home). They sent me to a psychologist because they said "you don't belong here, your not crazy". Well I sure felt crazy as hell. I started seeing a psychologist but noticed this is not going to work either. He was weird as ever wanting to talk about when I was a baby. Like I remembered that. LOL.

I was so lost and had no one that I could talk to about it. I've learned that a lot of people are afraid to be themselves and be open. I am not. You ask me something and I usually am an open book. What I went through I believe is to help someone else.

I went to my primary care physician and expressed my concerns about what was going on. She recommended Medication. At this point I was willing to try anything to get better. I had two kids depending on me. The first medication she started me on made things worse. I felt like the walls were caving in on me. Yes it is that bad.

Finally we found a medication that actually worked for me. The only problem was now I was sleepy all the time and hating life. I had to figure out what I could do. I decided that I needed to find an outlet to help me.

I knew that I didn't want to be on the medication anymore. I stayed away from excess amounts of coffee, made sure to keep the house bright. Get out of the house and do stuff with the girls. I learned what worked for me. I stopped taking the medication. Now I use to keep it on me just in case, but thank God I never needed it again.


If I felt like I was about to have an attack, I would suck on a hard piece of candy, and it worked.

This is how I learned how to keep the balance.

I was always to fixated on what the girls needed that I forgot about myself. You cant do that it will only make your life miserable. Just because you become a mother doesn't mean that you die. If anything it just starts a new chapter in your book. I mean that's what we are doing here, writing our book. Our stories aren't the same ever because then the book would be boring and not unique.

When the girls take a nap, I get some "Me time in". I watch my shows, surf the web, catch up on YouTube. Things that make me happy. That make me "ME".  I noticed that when I would work I never bought myself anything. I literally got paid and took the girls out shopping. This is a good thing to a certain extent. You have to treat yourself to something. Now don't get me wrong please provide for you children, but if they don't need anything and you do, make sure to choose you this time.

It is hard, I know. I love my kids with all that is in me, but mommy has needs too. Once you stop doing for you, you've already messed with the balance. It can and will have a negative affect on you. My girls know mommy needs space and they try to help I can tell., but remember they are kids don't expect too much. This is were the saying "it takes a village to raise kids" comes in.

Never be afraid to ask for help. If you have great friends and you are loosing it, ask. If you aren't a single parent tell your husband or boyfriend what's going on. Don't bottle it up and keep it in. It isn't healthy at all. No one is going to judge you, and if they do, they aren't any good for you.

Another great way to stay balanced is find other moms with kids around your kids ages. Schedule weekly play dates and let the kids be. While they are playing you and the kids mom can have some adult time. Trust me talking to kids all day, this will do you some good. I love hanging with other moms because they get you and understand certain frustrations.

Find your outlet. It can be writing (which is my favorite), singing, dancing, reading. Anything that allows you to just openly breath and get back to "YOU". You aren't dead, you are very much alive. Becoming a mother is the best thing in this world and also the hardest., but it isn't rocket science.

In staying balanced we are all going to have our own ways. Remember are make ups are different. No two people are the same. Not even twins. I promise you it only gets easier as time progresses and you learn more about yourself and kids.

I hope this helped someone, anyone. I am always here to help talk if need be. Who am I to judge?