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| This is me!!! |
as an outlet for myself to hopefully relate to someone other than myself. No one focus, just raw honest truth. Allowing myself a platform to inspire others to do what makes them happy.
Writing has always been a way of expression for me, when I feel like I cant say what I feel I just write. Most don't know this, but I have always been afraid of judgement against me. A fear of people not excepting me for ME! Even though I seem like I have it all together and could care less what people think of me, I really and truly have always cared. That is something I am constantly working on. Writing is just one of many of my loves.
When I was younger I wanted to be only one thing (a teacher) because I thought that, that was all one could do... ONE thing!!! I mean who knew that people could juggle more than one love? I sure as heck didn't. That is until I graduated from high school and went through the loss of my first pregnancy. I was not sure if my loss had me confused about the career I wanted or if indeed there was no one particular job out there for me...
For a while after my loss, I battled with career paths. A few months after my miscarriage I found out that I was expecting again. While I was scared and nervous about being pregnant once again, I knew that I wanted a career. I needed a career, after all I was expecting a blessing. So, I started college. I was going to be a teacher. While in school I noticed that I was not that satisfied with the career choice that I had chose because honestly teachers are over worked and very much underpaid.... I decided that I was going to change my career because I was unhappy with my choice. I meet with my career counselor to help me set up courses that I needed to become a crime scene investigator. I started my classes only to find myself saying "girl you cant pass the physical portion of this job" so guess what I did???????
Yep, you guessed it... ON TO THE NEXT CAREER.... I made sure that this time I was not going to waste my time but get that education I wanted so that I could have the career I have always dreamed about. I met with my career counselor again and talked about some options for me.
Now by this time I had already had my first child and was now pregnant with my second. I not only wanted a career but, felt like I needed it more than ever. I went to school during the summer and did very well, but once I had my second daughter I decided to stay home and put my career on hold.
I loved being a mommy, but hated that I felt like a complete failure. While all my other friends were at college I was at home raising babies and letting my man take care of the household financially (ladies I felt like a complete and utter mess). That was until one day a great friend of mine that went to school to become a Medical Assistant told me all about it. I instantly was in love. Who knew that in less than a year I could have a job in the Medical field and still be a mom and a wife?
My friend went with me to check out a school and helped me to get on track to start my career. I signed up for school and let me tell you I did very well. I was a mentor in my class as well as a
4.0 student with perfect attendance and honor roll. It felt great to graduate at the top of my class, but that was short lived. I put my heart in my schooling but, all the jobs out there when I graduated were not what I had expected.
Still feeling unfulfilled in my career path, I chose to go back to school. I was so excited because now I was going to go and work hard to become a Physician Assistant. Yes, honey I was going to provide a better life for my wonderful family. Until, the school I lived by didn't offer any classes for my career of choice. I would have to drive well over an hour and a half just for school. I could not do that I had two little ones under the age of 3. Again, I felt unfulfilled and defeated.
So, here I am now a mother of 3 and wanting to go back to school. I thought hey one of my favorite things in this world is cooking. I can go to culinary arts school because honey she can cook. That is until my world stopped when I found out that my favorite school on this planet wants $40,000. That is not with interest honey.... I nearly passed out and while I really was considering it, I thought to myself.... "Now Kayleigh, is this smart of you to do? How are you going to be able to pay that off? Will you be able to find a great job in this field? Will you ever have financial freedom if you take loans out like that?" This all came to my mind. So I posted on Facebook to see if anyone could give me some true insight on this school. It seems as though I had no one in my corner to help with insight even though I know people that have attended here, but that is neither here nor there (get out of your feelings girl).
I decided that I was not going to go because I don't want to put myself or leave my family in debt because I want to go this school. Then all of a sudden a light bulb came on and I finally figured out why I had to go through all of these career changes.....
Because, none of these one jobs are for me on there own. I am a teacher to my children each and everyday. From the moment they wake to the moment the go to bed. Even then I am still a teacher, because I am correcting homework and looking over at their work from the day. I am a crime scene investigator when I tackle their room (Lord help me in there, LOL) trying to figure out what the hell happened. When they are sick and not feeling well I am their Medical Assistant (Nurse Mommy to the rescue). I nurse them back to health because that is what mommies do.... Last but not least, I am my own chef. Who said that I needed to go to culinary arts school to be a chef? No one. I am chef mommy.The reason I wanted to write this today is because I feel like someone needs to hear this (well, technically read this). Your life is not over because you have had obstacles in your way. Look at it from all angles. I promise that it will all come together in the end.
