Evolving!

I notice a lot of people seem to wonder why I don't act the same or hang with the people I grew up with. The answer is "I am not that girl from middle school and high school that you remember". I have grown and don't have time for the petty BS. I see a lot of the people I went to high school still stuck in the same rut. I am not about that life, sorry. Wait, no I am not sorry that I got out and did what I had to do for my family.

I have grown and plan on continuing to grow even more. I see so much for my future and am so excited with where God is taking me. Although I love reconnecting with people from my past, don't get mad if I don't accept your friend request or want to "hang". I am not better than anyone, but I also have a purpose in life and back sliding into my old life is not for me.

That Kayleigh is gone and not coming back. We learn as we get older what we want out of life, friends and family. Trust if family does something horrible enough I wont hang with them either. I just want better for me and my family. There is nothing wrong with that.

One thing I see a lot is people being afraid to let go of the things that may hold them back in life. I cant do that. Being afraid is not an option for me. I still can remember being pregnant and thinking "wow my life is changing". Literally right before my eyes I was loosing friends. At first it hurt, but then I figured "they aren't apart of this chapter in my life".

I see it now as a blessing. I don't want to hang out in the hood and smoke weed all day. Scared that my kids might end up with a bullet in them because of who I hang with. Trust it happens all the time. So if you ever wonder why is Kayleigh changing, I'm not. I changed along time ago, and am now evolving into the women I am suppose to be.

If we stay the same its like we die. Never becoming anything better than what we are now, it should be a sin. I personally don't want to be where I am today in 10 years. Not that where I am is bad, but I have much more potential to become something greater and better.

Becoming a mother has made me become stronger not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. There really isn't anything that you can say or do to me that would break me. My kids have given me some really thick skin. I am grateful, because I use to lash out at anyone for anything. Now I am learning how to control myself.

A year ago if you said something to me that pissed me off you wouldn't want to stick around. I would have chewed you up and spit you out like you were dirt in my mouth. I realized that this wasn't good. My girls witnessed me go off one time because someone said something to them and all hell broke loose. I felt bad after because my girls asked me "mommy were you going to fight them"? That is something that I never want my girls to witness. I had to do some soul searching and figuring out how I could control my anger.

I had to figure out were it came from and learn how to keep it in the dark. Now when I get pissed off at something I try to just leave it alone. Its not worth being ignorant for, yes fighting as an adult is ignorant (in my book). I am glad I learned now before my girls caught on and started acting like that.

I am changed and proud of the women I have become. I'm even more excited to see where and who I will be in the next couple of years. I see the vision, now its time to be productive in at.